Wednesday, March 23, 2016

A Letter to My Mini Human

Dear Brody, 
It’s been a year since the word Autism was added to our lives. You don’t know what the word means yet but to me it is the most beautiful and terrifying word I have ever heard. It is beautiful because Autism is a part of you, and you my precious baby boy are beautiful but it also terrifies me as it holds so much unknown in our lives and I have seen how it makes you struggle.
Mommy is so proud of you and all that you have done this year, my mini. I know it was hard having to change schools, it was hard on Mommy and Daddy too. Each week you go through so much, at school you have 2 group speech therapies, 1 individual speech therapy, occupational therapy, then two mornings before school we go for extra speech and occupational therapies. Then at night we work on homework that the teachers and therapists think will help you.  You are amazing. 
I’m sorry you sometimes see Mommy cry. It makes me laugh when you say that my eye color is either black or red - for the record Brody my eye color is Blue like yours. :) Please know baby boy these tears are nothing you caused but just from frustration in not knowing how to help you more and roadblocks we encounter in trying to help you and sadness in seeing all that you have to endure at such a young age when other 4 year olds are able to be kids. 
There are so many aspects of ASD that I don’t understand and I wish you could explain to me. I don’t know why a certain commercial on the Disney channel makes you turn around and cover your ears. I don’t know why you need to clinch your shirt and pace back and forth each night. I don’t know where you go when your little eyes get lost. I will keep searching for you my mini, to understand and to help but I want you to know, that Mommy loves you and is proud of you. 
Now let’s turn up the Uptown Funk and dance because it is time to start a new day.


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